Randomly updated and mostly about music videos, Florida, and anything involving sequins, spandex, or saxophone solos.
On occasion, I address something of relative importance.

20th August 2010

Video with 3 notes

“BACK WHERE YOU BELONG”

This is clearly .38 Special’s masterwork. It tells an elaborate, far-fetched, completely ridiculous story that centers on a femme fatale who’s playing all the band members, is wanted by the police, and can ride a motorcycle like Evil Knievel. What ensues is a stakeout of comedic proportions as the boys of .38 Special, as officers of the law, attempt to capture our sexy, sneaky infidel who bears a resemblance to Helen Slater as Billie Jean. Watch out for other cinematic allusions! A Rocky meat locker reference occurs two minutes in and the boys finish it off with a ripoff of the subway train sequence in French Connection. Spoiler alert: the girl gets away! She coquettishly waves good-bye to our unlucky lovers, who don’t seem to mind that they’ve all been had by the same girl. Instead, they give each other an “Aw, shucks” grin, secretly hoping that this action-packed farce is a vast improvement over the yawnfest that was “Hold on Loosely”. “To Be Continued…” flashes across the screen and this viewer is left wanting more! Maybe the boys will finally cavort at the state fair, maybe they will even assume their roles as cops and have an awesome shoot-out in which no one gets hurt but some stuffed hippos in tuxedos. With our low-key, no-frills southern boys, anything could happen. Sadly, nothing did. There was no sequel to “Back Where You Belong” as far as I can tell or Youtube research shows.

Maybe .38 Special returned to their roots, mortified by their attempts to fit some teenage girl’s image of what a successful band should act and look like. Maybe they returned to the stage to do what they did best, which was play music that was good for drinking and fornicating. Maybe Donnie put that peach poet blouse back on. Maybe the guitar player so fond of vests finally rocked out beyond his wildest Eddie Van Halen dreams. And maybe they all hoped that we would forget these videos ever existed and only remember them as an awesome band that kept classic rock alive in the 80s.

  1. foryourpleasure posted this