Possible Video Treatment for Lady Gaga's "Edge of Glory"

18th May 2011

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Possible Video Treatment for Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory”

Okay. What about this: a Haus of Gaga loose interpretation of Bruce Springsteen’s “Glory Days” meets American Pastoral Pastiche.

The intro: It’s dark, foggy with thick moving clouds illuminated by a blue moon. The curtains of fog part to reveal Gaga in a basic welder’s uniform. She’s working hard, burning that midnight oil while enjoying the sound of her voice pleading about “tonight yeah baby, tonight yeah baby”. She takes off the welder mask in a choreographed fashion a la Flashdance to reveal a shocking blue halo of curls. Think the video vixen’s hair in Steve Winwood’s “Higher Love”. Her skin is shocking white, cadaverous in a hot Victorian Gothic novel type way, and her lips are navy blue but spangled with teeny silver star sequins. Her eyeshadow is deep red and from her long manicured fingertips white frenzied light emits like sparklers on the Fourth of July.

Cut to: Gaga playing in a neighborhood roadhouse to a crowd of bearded and denim-clad men. But they aren’t just your typical macho working-class heroes. They’re all gay because it’s a gay bar…called “Glory Gays”. Gaga is dressed in pirate scarves from head to toe a la Little Stevie. Instead of one gold hoop earring, she wears one good hoop around her body. A hula hoop that she spins continuously while singing. The Boss does not cameo. Instead, it’s Gaga again dressed in scandalously short denim shorts and the iconic red bandana placed precariously in her open fly. Clarence does cameo and the band launches into the first chorus as the bearded factory workers take off their hardhats and unbutton their denim button downs to reveal that they all have tattoos that say “Edge of Glory” encircled by flames and skulls.

Cut to: A cornfield. Gaga wears a dress made out of corn husks and her hair is in…yep, cornrows. She writhes around in a way that is disarming because it’s obliquely sexy and not overtly so.

Cut to: Quick shots of Gaga in a baseball uniform blowing bubbles and grabbing her crotch suggestively in a way that references everything from Michael Jackson to Roseanne Barr to the hegemony at large.

Cut to: A war field. Gaga is dressed as a haute couture George Washington with powdered wig and wooden teeth. She launches a cannon that is really just an oversized mascara wand. She plasters the redcoats in Diorshow Blackout and the whole army writhes around in the cosmetic sludge, but this time it’s overtly sexy. Very sexy. And subversive.

Cut to: A bigger corn field at dusk. Gaga wears nothing but a barely buttoned denim button-down and her hair/makeup done a la Rosie the Riveter while straddling a massive bulldozer covered in glitter. Cue sax solo. Rob Lowe in a baseball uniform that exposes his midriff emerges from corn field to play the solo, reliving those halcyon days of St. Elmo’s Fire. Once the solo ends, Rob is again enveloped by the corn. Video ends with Gaga driving away atop the bulldozer, flexing her arm muscles and snarling in a way that is somewhat sexy but mostly confusing, pointless and yet remains intriguing.

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Possible Video Treatment for Lady Gaga’s “Edge of Glory”