April 2008
19 posts
“The tension between “actual” memory and our translation of that memory into...”
– New York magazine’s profile of prolific memoirist/liar? Augusten Burroughs. I think it’s important that they addressed the nature of Memory because, funnily enough, its inherent malleability is often forgotten as the media continues to undermine the memoir as a genre.
What Not to Watch
Lately, I’ve felt a lot dumber than usual. I don’t claim to be particularly brilliant, but usually I can muster enough mental energy to pass for someone with actual thoughts, or rather thoughts that extend into some sort of sphere of respected intelligence. Therefore, I know that my cognitive abilities are seriously malfunctioning when I take immense pleasure in discovering that...
No Longer on Top: ANTM's Lauren
Oh, Lauren: so awkward, so edgy, so gorgeous, and so very GONE. I thought that she would eventually pull through, drop the Andre the Giant gait, and win this thang! Sadly, she lumbered and nervously ticked her way through the Cover Girl commercial segment. It was like watching Lurch pretend to be Isabella Rosselini. Almost all the girls were just as horrendous whether they were butchering the...
For My Pleasure - Little Suzi
Tesla: so incredibly undervalued in the hard rock canon. Tsk. Tsk. Shame on anyone who has not sung along in earnest to “Love Song”! The Sacramento rockers were eclipsed by other bands that looked more the part of Calfornia metal gods than they did. The Vince Neils and Bret Michaels stole the show with their flaxen tresses, pouty lips, and giant, glittering hard-ons. The blue-collar,...
The Hills' Soundtrack, Lisa Turtle and Other Super...
I promised myself that I would keep The Hills posts to a minimum, but I found myself sucked into the dead-eyed, highly manicured vortex of last’s night episode. Somewhere between the resurrection of JustinBobby and a lot of unnecessary, awkward pauses in otherwise soporific conversation, I ascertained something that until then had been gnawing at my auditory faculties without my full...
Springtime with Joe Elliott
Today I had my iPod set to shuffle for the usual commute when Def Leppard’s “Photograph” came on. If it was the dead of winter, I would have quickly skipped it, almost embarrassed by the bright, metallic stench emanating from the pop-metal trash . But today I not only let it play through, I cranked that sucker! This can only mean that spring is here and another hedonistic summer...
No Longer on Top: ANTM's Stacy Ann
Finally, Paulina makes a larger appearance on tonight’s episode coaching the girls on the fine art of schmoozing and her hubby Ric Ocasek even cameos! The gals attend a 7Up-sponsored shindig mingling with the finest in soda-fashion partnerships. I guess there aren’t that many people involved with such a strange collaboration, which explains why it seemed as though the contestants and...
Cineplex Reflections - Stop-Loss
I am a sucker for honest, grim portraits of America. Even when they star Ryan Phillippe. While certain aspects of Kimberly Peirce’s Stop-Loss were beyond melodramatic to the point of total implausibility (all soldiers go crazy and turn to the bottle, yes even best friends that hail from the same Texan town), I still appreciated her dedication to addressing current issues in such a complex...
“My hair is combined of my hair and the finest extensions Europe has to offer. I...”
– Bret Michaels opens up about his truest love: his hair.
For My Pleasure - Mandolin Rain
I love Bruce Hornsby. My heart belongs to Middle America and when I hear Hornsby hit the ivories, I am immediately transported to an autumnal expanse of grain wavering gently below a clear blue sky. Sometimes leaves are falling, sometimes a lake asserts itself somewhere past the fields: a deep azure pool, serene and still, eclipsed by the boughs of dark trees perfect for clandestine affairs and...
“STP’s bad luck was being a polished, immediately accessible, larger-than-life...”
– Steve Hyden at the Onion’s A.V. Club beats me to it. I’ve often thought of writing an “In Defense of STP” article, but this one is much better than the one I could’ve managed. Although I will add that “Sour Girl” is also an amazing, amazing song for being...
Smart People...
Might be the worst movie title ever. Sure, it’s not as offensive as Phat Girlz or as absurd as To Wong Foo.. or as incredibly awful and inane as I Know Who Killed Me, yet it manages to provoke me much more than any Norbit or Getting Served could. It’s what the deceptively simple title implies. looking bored while pontificating on something asinine…that’s what Smart People...
Five Karaoke Songs I Would Sing (If I Wasn't Such...
This is just my personal list of songs that I like to imagine myself belting out and subsequently blowing people’s minds with my awe-inspiring performances. It’s all part of my rock-n-roll fantasy… 1. Give Me Back My Man - B-52s. Even though I prefer Kate to Cindy, I would choose this song as my karaoke signature. “Give Me Back My Man” is a feverish, torrid,...
Netflix Chronicles - Even Cowgirls Get the Blues
I’ve never read anything by Tom Robbins and after viewing the film adaptation disaster that is Even Cowgirls Get the Blues, I sure ain’t gonna start now. I get the gist of his material: counterculture, nonsense, counterculture nonsense and it doesn’t appeal to me. What appeals to me even less is a disjointed visual representation of counterculture nonsense and that’s...
5 Karaoke Songs that Ladies Should Never Sing as...
I try to keep my bitter, sardonic rants on this blog to a minimum, but as a frequent patron of the karaoke scene there are certain songs in constant rotation that make me squirm and frankly, disenchanted with the state of womanhood today. Have we really succumbed to using tired karaoke staples as a hackneyed and pathetic way of drawing attention to ourselves? Singing one of the following songs on...
No Longer on Top: ANTM's Claire (?!)
It’s amazing how fickle one can be when watching America’s Next Top Model. One week you are in awe of Claire’s otherworldly beauty and the next you are irked by her posturing and eagerness to impress. You then project your former ardor for all things Claire onto the next model that seems photogenic and not like an ego-trippin’ beast! Now, my love lies with Lauren. The...
